WHAT SHOULD I DO? WILL YOU PLEASE GUIDE ME?

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Nabha visited me last Saturday. She looked tired as if she was carrying the world’s problems on her shoulders. She looked pale as she sat in front of me quietly. It seemed like she was lost in some other thought even though she was looking directly at me.

I’ve known Nabha for many years. She is a dynamic, bubbly, and vibrant with pouring enthusiasm. Being an architect by profession. She is well-read and has a deep understanding of the field that she is in. Due to her excellence in design, last year she was awarded by an International Organization.

I have spent many hours together with Nabha where we’ve just been talking on different subjects. We’ve talked about her favourite books, current affairs, and also about her travel diaries. She is someone who loves travelling and has travelled to many places in India and abroad.

I’ve always known her to be a hard worker and a workaholic by nature. I have immense respect for her since she refused to join an opening in a reputed company just because it was her father’s influence that was getting her the job.

But, the Nabha who was sitting in front of me on Saturday was a completely different person. Through my experience with people, I instantly understood that she was depressed. But she refused to accept it herself.

Seeing her that way, I decided to counsel her. In the beginning, she was reluctant to co-operate with me but gradually over time she opened up to me more and more. After a few meetings, she had gotten over all the problems that she was facing.

Over time, she reverted to her original way. We again started talking about a variety of subjects including counselling.

I explained the meaning of counselling to her ‘counselling takes place when a client and counsellor decide to meet at a mutually agreed time and place to find a solution or solutions on stressful or emotional feelings of the client.’

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There are many different types of counselling. A few of the times are as mentioned below:

• Mental health counselling

• Educational and career counselling

• Marriage counselling

• Family counselling

The above list is not a comprehensive one. There may be many more types of counselling that cannot be listed. Though they do not have a definite form, they can still be categorized under the following:

• Psychodynamic approach

• Humanistic and approach

• Behavioural approach

For a successful counselling session, a counsellor should be a person who has the following skills:

1. Listening: The client should have your full, non-distractive attention. A counsellor should always maintain eye contact with their client. He/she should be responsive. Counsellors are meant to encourage their counselee to open speak freely. A counsellor should be a patient listener. He should observe and grasp both the verbal and non-verbal information narrated by the counselee.
   

2. Empathetically Behaviour: A counsellor should be empathetic by nature. He should understand his counselee’s perception very clearly and should analyse it empathetically.
   

3. Caring nature: A counsellor should be caring and nurturing by nature. It is only through this nature that they will be able to solve the problems of his clients with proper warmth.
   

4. Set similar examples: For better relating to the situation or the topic spoken by the counselee, a counsellor can share his/her personal experiences and feelings as well. This will help the counselee to better open up and relate to the counsellor.
   

5. Firmness: Counsellor should take care to keep two-way communications open that is specific to the topic and the point. Counsellors need to be focussed on facts and feelings. Special care should be taken to avoid tangents and generalizations. In a general rule, a counsellor should talk less and make the counselee talk more.
   

6. Exploration: A questioning process should be adopted to help the client better explore his/her feelings, emotions or thoughts.
   

7. Interpretations: While interpreting the real problem, the counsellor should add his/her own opinion or new meaning or clarification. This will help counselee to see their problem from a different perspective. All interpretations should be conducted with empathy.
   

8. Confidential: The discussions during the meeting should be treated as most confidential. It should be known to counsellor and counselee only.

Counselling can be for anyone who faces a short term unfavourable phase in life. It can be for someone who is dealing with a chronic, long-standing challenge, which is bothering them continuously.

Counselling is not a new thing, it has been present since ancient times. But in modern time, its need and demand have increased.

Being a two-way process, the counsellor can help the counselee through everything provided that he/she co-operates with the counsellor to furnish all facts.